I was just about to write this post...when the phone rang. My husband, Dave, was calling to wish me a happy anniversary (and happy Groundhog Day). He asked if I wanted to go out for a drink tonight.
Sure. I'd love to.
I don't mind that it took him all day to remember that it is our 22nd wedding anniversary.
I'm not exactly a model wife, am I.
Dave seemed preoccupied this morning, so I didn't give him the card I had bought. No, I didn't sit around all day pouting and wondering whether he had forgotten. This is typical behavior for him. He normally has 100 things on his mind and sometimes I am an afterthought.
He will probably come home late, laden with a sentimental card, flowers, chocolates, a cake.
I know the drill.
I don't get hung up on birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays the way other people do. If I'm remembered (and I'm never forgotten....sometimes late, but never forgotten), I am happy to be remembered. I don't need to be showered with cards and gifts to prove a silly point that one day out of the year. Whether it be my birthday, Valentine's Day, an anniversary...
Maybe you think I'm being too forgiving. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you're the one who doesn't always remember a birthday or anniversary.
I truly love my husband. We have been together half of my life.
I simply can't say that I'm *in* love with him.
He and I will go out for a drink tonight. He will talk incessantly about the million and one things he wants to do--learn Italian so he can sing Italian opera, write a book about his Mom and Dad, act in a play, direct a film, design web sites, do voiceovers...
And I will listen.
A shrink told me years ago not to expect men to read my mind. If I want flowers tell him I want flowers etc. It works. I'm like you...not big on anniversaries. A token card is all it takes. I don't think you are too forgiving. I think you are just fine.
ReplyDeleteKitty, Your comment made me smile. I remember one Valentine's Day early in my marriage when my husband gave me a plastic file box with a lock on it. I was upset! What's funny is that over 15 years later, I still use that file. Sometimes practical trumps flowers and chocolates!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are the nice Valentine. I was always told that if you want to impress someone just listen to them all night. Hopefully your husband is impressed.
ReplyDeleteRyan, Unfortunately, my husband is usually too busy talking and thinking about himself to be impressed by my listening skills...!!
ReplyDeleteBut are you on the list of all the things that he "wants to do?" You should be at the top of the list all the time.
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with this...Men are just different from women. I have accepted it a long time ago...now I wish I paid more attention to what I really wanted to do ~
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