Around this time of year there are many sites that run articles on what not to get your honey for Valentine's Day. Here is one list my 21yo son and I had a good laugh over.
A brief run-down of what NOT to give (according to the above article).
1. Red Roses. I have received my fair share of roses from my husband. What he always forgets is that we have two cats who simply LOVE flowers. Unless he wants another $500 veterinary hospital visit...he needs to cease and desist the giving of flowers of ANY kind!
2. Chocolates. Please. I LOVE chocolate, but it's so damn fattening. I suppose if he gave me one or two pieces I would take it the wrong way though...right? Gimme a box of See's and I will be orgasmically happy. Then I will hate myself after I've eaten the entire box in two days.
3. Jewelry in a Ring-Sized Box. I don't need to worry about this. I doubt I will be on the make for a new husband any time soon. It doesn't matter what size the box is if you give me jewelry. Just give me the bloody diamond earrings!
4. Something Girlie and Decorative. The article recommends bath products rather than some ornate soap dish. I have received one or two WEIRD scents from my hub. Most have been wonderful, but others have made me say HUH? Did you buy this at WalMart...on SALE?
5. A Cute Stuffed Animal Bearing a Message of Love. Oh boy, I've received a LOT of these! I haven't collected stuffed animals since I was in elementary school, but I continue to receive them as an adult. I did receive a bear once for my b-day, which was cute. Then there is the stuffed beanie baby horse (Cocoa) I keep as my car "mascot" down by the hand brake. Otherwise, my son and I got a few good laughs out of this. He has a half-dozen stuffed animals from girls who were sweet on him!
6. Racy Sleepwear. Not sleepwear, but I have a huge bag full of thongs I have received over the years. Does anyone really wear them anymore? With the risk of UTIs and the fact they ride so far up your ass... Ugh. This is what I prefer to wear:
As for racy sleepwear...I say what does the author know, bring it on!
7. Small Appliances. Does a vibrator count as a small appliance? One gift from my husband when we were first married (in the early days) was a large plastic file container with a lock on it. I was so horrified, I nearly cried. Funny thing is, it is the only truly memorable V-day present he has given to me in the past 21 years! I still use it.
8. Cologne or Perfume. As stated above, I have received a few weird scents. Generally speaking, though, he has fairly good taste. He knows I don't like smelling like a fifty-dollar hooker.
9. A Tie. I never have received one of these. :-) It's obvious, though, this article is geared to guys--not gals!
10. A Gift Certificate. What the heck does the author know? I LOVE gift cards/certificates. As long as they're for a store I actually shop at! Just make sure that it's in a large sum. $20 ain't gonna get me too far at Macy's!
So what are we supposed to get? You got to make things real simple and stupid for us guys!
ReplyDeleteIn all honesty, the list doesn't leave much to give, does it? One recommedation is to ask a good friend what she might want...but if that gets back to her, won't that make you seem a bit out of touch?
ReplyDeletePersonally, the best gifts I have received have never necessarily been monetary (though that can be very nice!). When I receive a gift that shows that someone "gets" me, I am over the moon. My oldest son frequenly gives me gifts that show he put a lot of thought into them. I really appreciate that!
Women often drop hints...you gotta listen. :-)