[My 100th Post! I don't know why I feel a need to commemorate such a moment...but I am!]
After Drake and I have sex in his SUV, my mind sometimes drifts to the "crimes" we are committing: Two consenting adults--married but not to each other--who are having sex in a quasi parking space bordering a county park. (There isn't a playground nearby and I have never seen children in the area!)
Adultery is a criminal offense in my state, as well as 23 other states. Adultery in my state is considered a misdemeanor and the maximum fine is a measly $10.
How does my state define adultery? Sexual intercourse (i.e., penetration of the vagina by the penis) between a person who is married and someone of the opposite sex other than the spouse. Oral sex is not considered adultery, it falls under the sodomy law.
As for sex in a car? Generally speaking, it is considered indecent exposure and engaging in a sex act in a public place and barring any other crimes you might be committing (public intoxication, drugs, weapons) you could be slapped with a $1,000 fine and/or jail time. I have heard that some police officers will simply say, "Get a room!" Others may not be as forgiving.
This site offers a bit of advice on how to have sex in one's car. One solid piece of advice from this site, "Avoid candles, as they are a fire hazard." Natch.
None of this information will deter me from continuing to have car sex.
"No, Officer, this is not my spouse. May I pay the $10 fine here or in court?"
So Bill didn't commit adultery! Just sodomy. Well his act was in the District so their laws may be different, but I'm going with - he's innocent.
ReplyDeleteAnd enjoy your $10 worth of fun - sounds like you are pretty sure it's worth it!
Word of warning - two online friends were caught by park rangers recently in MD and OH. And they were vicious. One just got a $50 citation with both their real names on it, but the other had to go into open court, plead down etc. Not fun. Watch out for rangers!
ReplyDelete@Ryan - Yes, it's $10 worth a thousand times over!
ReplyDelete@Sassy - Thanks for the warning. We've had a few close calls, but it hasn't discouraged us...yet!
Worth every damn penny!
ReplyDeleteTTFN
Mr. No Name
Good thing he has an SUV. Imagine trying to do it one of those SmartCars. I suppose it would be good exercise. ;)
ReplyDeleteOffer the officer $50 and then invite them to join in. He may waive the fee altogether. And most of them know how to use their nightstick and cuffs without leaving a mark.
ReplyDeleteI find it interesting how laws regarding intimacy can vary so widely.
ReplyDelete