The Naked Pic in the Recycle Bin

I consider myself a conscientious cheater. I've made a few blunders, but generally I am adept at covering my tracks as well as covering my ass. I am able to think quickly on my feet when necessary and that has saved me on several occasions. I am also able to retain my composure when faced with a scathing accusation. For example, "Are you seeing someone?"

Sadly, I have my failings. The recycle bin incident is one of them.

My head had just hit the pillow one night back in August when my husband, Dave, walked into the room.

"This is really weird..." As the words came out of his mouth, I assumed that he was going to tell me something one of the kids had done.

"...I found a naked picture of you in the recycle bin on your laptop."

My first reaction: Breathe. Think. Fast.

My second reaction: (to myself, naturally)--I wonder which one?

My third reaction: What the hell was Dave doing on my laptop? In my recycle bin?

"Oh!" I let out a small giggle. "I like to take naked pics of myself for fun. You've seen other ones."

This was true. I've shared several pics with him in the past. He has several of them--as well as a few x-rated videos we once took while alone on vacation--on a flash drive locked away somewhere.

He stretched out on the bed next to me. "You aren't seeing anyone, are you? It looked like a picture you were going to send to someone."

I leaned over and gave him a big hug and a kiss.

"Of course not!"

"The picture was pretty hot. I copied it to the flash drive."

I breathed a small sigh of relief. Considering my questionable track record (he knows of two of my past affairs), I am ripe for getting caught.

I'm not sure whether it is naivete on his part or flat-out denial, but I often wonder what he's really thinking. I know he has his favorite web cam sites. Who knows? Maybe he has something going on. He does stay out late sometimes--and I'm not in a position to ask him why.

I've learned throughout the years that overreaction is the worst reaction. Overreacting to a situation certainly sends up a red flag. I didn't question why Dave was on my laptop.

I also refrained from asking him which pic he found in the recycle bin.

"How many are there?" I imagined him asking.

Lesson learned: Always...*always*...empty the recycle bin. I thought of worse things he could have found in there. Shudder.

Some computer precautions I take:

1. Always employ IE "InPrivate" so searches, history, etc., aren't saved.
2. Save all naked pics to a flash drive. I hide my flash drive in the pocket of a work binder (I work from home).
3. Delete the "recent" files from any programs.
4. Never, EVER, try to hide a file or image on the laptop. There is too great a chance of it being stumbled upon.
5. Copy and paste carefully.
6. Having a separate, password-protected account on my own laptop would definitely raise suspicions, so I don't do it.
7. Use cryptic words to describe a pic. That is, I often use dates rather than "LunaSuckingCock."
8. Most importantly, I always keep an innocuous browser session (preferably an interesting news item) up behind the InPrivate session to allow a quick change of view, if necessary.
9. Never...EVER...leave anything racy on a computer unattended. Not even for a moment. Not even when you know you're home alone.

I'm sure I'm missing something, but so far it has worked for me (aside from the recycle bin incident!).