This can't be happening to me. It simply can't be. I keep on denying it, but I know it's true.
I am falling in love with Drake.
How the hell did this happen? I was in "like" for so long. Then a playful form of "love." When did it transform into "true love?"
The last time I fell in love with someone I was seeing it didn't end well--for either one of us, but worse for him.
Something changed between Drake and me in the past few weeks. I can't even pinpoint it. It just happened.
After he and I parted on Monday night, I went home, got into bed, and cried. That surely wasn't a good sign. Yet even then, I wasn't sure what I was actually feeling.
This morning, I was running late but I had time to send him a brief email.
"I am thinking of you," I wrote.
His reply, "I am thinking of you lost in lust."
My reply, "It is more than lust."
No reply.
No reply because my phone rejected sending the message twice. It just wouldn't send. So, I got on my laptop and sent the same message. Maybe I should have taken the 2x rejection as a sign to shut up.
A new email:
Subject: I don't know how to say this...
I'm not even certain whether I should tell you this. I am falling in love with you. That explains why I got home on Monday night, got into bed, and cried. I know you probably don't want to hear this. It's irrational, but it's how I feel about you. I love you. It's that simple and that complicated.
Then the waiting. Each time my phone chimed, notifying me that I had an email, I felt physically ill. Nauseated. What was he going to say?
His reply:
I know babydoll and I am honored. It is that simple and that complicated. We just need to navigate carefully and it will be a great thing. Kisses.
I love him.
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