My Lover and My Husband Don't Like Each Other

Drake and my husband (Dave) met about ten months ago, early on in the affair. Drake got me involved in Business X and within a few months, Dave was involved in it as well. I had told Dave that my (non-existent) friend, Kate, had introduced me to Drake.

I remember the first time the three of us got together. We met at a coffee shop. Drake is tall, lean, and very distinguished looking. Dave is short, stocky, and swarthy. Complete contrasts. As I sat nervously fiddling with my laptop, I glanced furtively over at the two of them talking and I could tell that they were finding very little common ground (aside from me!).

Drake thinks Dave lives on "Planet Dave." He says he is hyper, self-centered, and finds perverse happiness when I am unhappy. I frequently tell Drake that Dave is a good guy (after all he's put up with me for 20+ years). Drake's response is always the same: "He isn't a bad man, but he's not the right man for you."

Dave finds Drake unsupportive and believes he engages in questionable business dealings.

When they're together (which isn't too often), they tolerate each other.

One positive outcome of being in Business X with Drake is that he and I have been on three conferences together (without Dave). At the conferences, we always sat together and apparently we seemed so close that some of the conference-goers thought we were married. I remember speaking with one woman who said, "At first, we thought you two were married." She had said "we," so apparently a group of them were gossiping about us. I told Drake and he shrugged, laughed, and said, "It's none of their business."

I still laugh when I recall checking into a hotel with Drake at a conferece in City X. We had arranged to share a room and another conference-goer was behind us. When Drake was done checking in, she gestured that I could go next, but Drake said to her, "I already checked us in." She looked dumbfounded, but said nothing.

Sometimes I worry that he and I are getting a bit too bold. That we take too many chances. A few weeks ago, Drake and I were out having lunch when he saw a business colleague (not related to Business X). They chatted for a few minutes. Drake didn't introduce me and I suppose that raised a red flag. The colleague told another colleague that he had seen Drake out with "a blonde woman." This got back to Drake, but he seemed unconcerned.