Why?

I try not to live in the future...at the very least not TOO far into the future. It isn't the greatest way to live. For example, I was tapped (out of 32 teammates) to be on a five-week project at work. I am thrilled, but at the same time a bit intimidated. In my vanilla life, I usually stay within my comfort zone (*my sexual life is another story*)!

I have no idea what this project is about--I will find out on Monday. I am trying to remain calm and confident. I wish I could look ahead and see the good things that might come out of this project...my supervisor said there could be "growth opportunities," which I welcome. However, I know that I will simply take each day as it comes.

This is how I have lived the past 2+ years of my affair. Taking each day as it comes. I have no illusions (delusions?) that Drake and I will ever spend any more time than we already spend together. We enjoy each other's company. Although we do have serious talks about life, we try to keep things light when we're together. We're playful, understanding, and very sexual when we're together, but we recognize the limits.

I have been following a fellow blogger's ups and downs in her affair. Her latest post disturbed me and made me realize how fortunate I am to have a stable affair partner. I also found myself descending into blogs about the "other side." Women and men who have been cheated on.

It's ironic, but I feel for them. I wouldn't want to be in their shoes.

So, why do I cheat?

I just can't explain why anymore.