Friday night my oldest son's girlfriend spent the night at our house.
My son (who is nearly twenty-two) asked me on Friday morning whether she could spend the night. I saw no problem with it. He recently graduated from college, is practicing safe sex, and is totally...completely...head-over-heels...in love.
It scares me.
I confess. I am a typical mama grizzly bear when it comes to my children. I have seen my son hurt by girls in the past and I don't want it to happen again.
They met through a mutual friend. She lives in another state (we live in a large metropolitan area comprised of two states and one "non-state"). It is about a forty-minute drive to her place during non-rush-hour traffic and much longer, naturally, during rush hour.
I know what you're thinking.
Why is a twenty-six-year-old woman from a foreign country interested in my twenty-one-year-old son?
I've had the same thoughts.
It is easy to pass judgment. It isn't a huge leap to think that she is in search of permanent residency.
My son is smart, handsome, creative, loving, and treats women with respect.
I am trying to maintain an open mind.
My greatest fear is that she will get pregnant. She will either maintain a relationship with my son or they will eventually get married. Something will happen and she will return to her country of origin.
With *my* grandchild!
Oh Jeez..We had a very similar situation with our oldest son. Met a slightly crazy, high strung girl at college, and though everyone knew she was not right for him, he maintained a relationship with her for a year.
ReplyDeleteWe tried to keep an open mind but were petrified she was going to get herself pregnant. We did the "happy dance" when he called late one night to tell us they had broken up. Whew.
My son has professed his love for her. He thinks he will never meet another woman like the woman he is currently with. I want to tell him..."Wait, you're only 21!"
DeleteBut I keep my mouth shut.
ugggg as a parent to two young boys, in many ways I worry about this stage of their life than what I deal with now.
ReplyDeleteThey are old enough to practice dangerous behaviours, but not necessarily mature enough to handle some of what can come out of those behaviours.
I hope she likes him for him and nothing else.
Yes. You're absolutely correct. My sons earlier years feel like a cake walk when compared to all they're going through now!
DeleteI agree. I hope so as well!
My ex husband married a girl from the Philippines, he met her online (yeah can you say mail order bride). My ex is very naive. By the way he was 21 when we got together I was 32. Don't judge! lol She came here in Feb and they married in late April, now just over a month, things aren't going so well. I'm just praying that he doesn't get her pregnant, as I have the same fear, that she will run back home with the baby. Which would not only hurt him but my daughter.
ReplyDeleteNo judgment here!
ReplyDeleteMeeting online and then getting together sight unseen does seem like a mail-order bride scenario! I hope things work out for your ex.