Stalking...Lurking...Prying...aka Being a MOM!



My youngest son has had a rough go at life these past few years. He is eighteen and due to a chronic health condition and missing a lot of school, he withdrew from high school out of frustration last year. He has yet to complete his GED. He doesn't have a job.

I have worried about him.

Recently, he has spent a lot of time either in his room or out with his friends. He is usually up all night and sleeps all day. He plays a lot of video games, skypes, and has an active Facebook (from which the entire family has been blocked--I only know this because my Mom is able to view his wall--without his knowledge) and Twitter account. He and his friends have this fierce loyalty of a brotherhood.

I google my name on occasion just to be sure that there isn't anything in my vanilla life someone being linked to my kinky world. I have accidentally done that in the past.

Much to my surprise, I googled my name over a week ago and my son's Twitter account popped up in my search. I clicked the link and discovered that his tweets were public.

Shocker.

I started to secretly follow him.

Let me tell you, it is NOT fun to follow the life of your troubled teenage son through tweets.

His tweets were often cryptic, leaving me wondering. Many of his tweets were dark, gloomy, and sometimes suicidal lyrics. He loves music and he is quite an accomplished guitarist.

I became obsessed following him. I would wake up several times during the night and check his most recent tweet on my mobile phone.

The last tweet I read was on Sunday night. It was disturbing and alarming.

I sent a text to one of his best friends, asking how my son was doing. I received a very normal, nothing-is-wrong reply. But in my gut I knew something was terribly wrong.

I went to check the Twitter account again and it had suddenly been closed to anyone who wasn't a friend of my son's.

Damn. I had somehow been ratted out by his friend.

I knocked on my son's door and told him I wanted to speak with him. He was very reluctant to come out. He stood in the doorway of my room. I convinced him to come in and I finally convinced him to sit down on my bed.

I told him that I had been following him on Twitter, reading his tweets. I was very VERY concerned about his well-being.

Then he told me.

He said, "I need help. Now."

I told him to pack a bag and I would take him to the ER.

After an evaluation, they determined that he should be admitted inpatient to the psych treatment facility next door to the hospital.

I have never been so relieved in my life.

I was so scared when he and I were talking at home, I knew there was NO way he was going back into his room and shutting the door.

He is now getting the help he needs. He will probably be inpatient for over a week. I saw him yesterday evening and he appeared to be in decent spirits, although his social worker said he is still very depressed. My son is very stoic and tends to bottle things up.

So. If you're a parent, don't be afraid to be sneaky. I had some misgivings about what I did, but now I realize that I might have saved my son's life.

Go with your gut.