Somewhere between my up and down moods, Drake and I managed to get together with another couple. The man of the couple is the same man who showed up while I was blindfolded (with Drake) some weeks ago. He gave me a nice hand job.
Apparently that is pretty much his specialty.
I found this out when the four of us met.
It was a bit awkward. We knew him, yet we knew nothing about her.
They joined us in a hotel room. They are married. He is shorter than I and his wife is itty-bitty--probably no taller than 5'1" tall (I am 5'9").
We sat around and talked for a little bit. Yes, it was a bit awkward. Finally, the man said, "So how does this work?" He walked over to me. Drake walked over to her. He towered over her and she looked a bit shy and inhibited when Drake hugged her.
We lay together as couples on either side of the bed. The man and I began kissing and I could hear Drake whispering to the other woman.
The man started to hand fuck me, but he didn't seem to be completely into it (as in the way he was last time!). At least not enough for me to orgasm. I had my back to Drake and the other woman, so I couldn't see (only hear) what they were doing.
At one point, Drake (who has a huge MFF fantasy we haven't been able to fulfill) asked her whether she wanted to kiss me.
She said no.
The man wanted to fuck my ass and I allowed him. Although I was on my knees on the edge of the bed, I didn't look to see what Drake and the other woman were doing.
When the man and I were back on our backs, his finger found its way into my ass and I masturbated myself to a nice orgasm.
Drake and the other woman were fairly quiet. I doubt she made a peep.
I asked the man whether he wanted to finish with his wife. She and I exchanged partners. We lay there for a bit, no activity going on, then they said they needed to get home to their kids.
After they left, Drake said that he understood why the husband was looking for more. The woman did nothing to try to stimulate Drake (and he never got hard, for some reason). She only wanted to be hand fucked, that was all she was interested in doing.
Over all, it was a weird experience. I didn't feel terribly turned on by the man. I felt sort of sorry for his wife, having to listen to her husband bring me to orgasm. I felt a bit indifferent, diffident, and detached from the whole situation. My usual confidence was a bit lacking.
Drake said he was terribly turned on seeing the guy fuck me and hearing me orgasm. He also said that if that was all the woman was interested in, then this was probably a "one and done" event.
I told Drake some of my feelings of weirdness.
When we parted, he could tell something was wrong and repeatedly asked me what was wrong.
No, I wasn't jealous knowing that he was with another woman--especially when she didn't satisfy him. I suppose I am a bit curious to know why he is so turned on seeing another man fuck me. In all honesty, after that experience, I'm not sure I want to be with anyone else but Drake.
I just don't know how to tell him that, seeing that we have had so many wild fantasies togethers of MFFs and foursomes. It seems too late for me to backpedal now.
What do I do?
If I tell him how I truthfully feel, will I lose him? Or will he stay with me and look for someone else? Or...???
Am I over-reacting?
Fantasies are funny things. Some are better as fantasies than they are in real life. Some may be beyond what you really want to do, but still enjoyable as a fantasy.
ReplyDeleteSo just because you and he have so many fantasies, does not mean he would be crushed at being unable to fulfill them all. And there is another thing to consider.
Why are the two of you together? You are together because your own marriages do not give you what you need. So if you don't tell him, and you go ahead and do things you would rather not do, then you have turned your relationship with him into another unsatisfying marriage.
Bottom line, you deserve to get what you need, the kind of relationship you need.
J - Thanks, your comment made me give a lot of thought to why I am together with Drake. We have been talking about our fantasies since we met two years ago and they really haven't changed too much. That makes me realize that I need to see this as a simple learning experience. A "one and done," I suppose--with this couple, at least! I am happy with Drake, I just had a moment of doubt...
DeleteAs a guy who enjoys seeing his wife fuck another while getting laid himself, I cantell you it is Jo threat to you. It is a turn on to see your partner brought to orgasm and to see the fuck another. To know they are giving pleasure to someone like you are used to getting. sM loves to see me fuck another woman, seeing the flea sure I give them, knowing what it feels like herself.
ReplyDeleteSwinging is half enjoying your own pleasure and half enjoying your partners pleasure.
Just my 2 cents worth.
TTFN
Mr. No Name
MNN - I appreciate your 2 cents. Your last sentence says it all. Since I'm new to swinging, I suppose I have to rethink things a bit. I admit that I am turned on by the thought of Drake with another woman (heck, I'm turned on by the thought of my husband with another woman, but that's another story...!). This woman just didn't seem to be the right fit, though. I spoke with Drake yesterday and he felt she was taking one for the team. We have agreed to continue looking for a couple who is a better fit for us.
DeleteMrs. AP and I haven't swapped with a couple yet, but in the threesomes we've had I've invariably ended up at some point watching her and the other guy as I recover. Every time is incredibly hot; I get to watch her lose herself in pleasure from angles I don't get to see when I'm inside her. I get to watch the reaction of the guy she's driving crazy. My recovery time is always ridiculously fast under those circumstances.
ReplyDeleteShe's seen me with one other woman once. She said it was with mixed emotions that she watched; on the one hand it was hot and sexy to watch me move and to watch the pleasure spread across both our faces, but on the other hand she was really wishing I was back inside her giving her that pleasure. Hmmm, maybe we really DO need another couple if there's going to be another woman involved...
As far as backpedaling, it's not. You gained an understanding from this experience that left you feeling uninspired. That could be entirely the result of this particular couple; after all, the other woman didn't seem to do anything for anybody, and a lack of chemistry during an encounter will make it feel lousy everytime. Who's to say you wouldn't have a better experience with somebody with whom you both connect more?
Talk openly and honestly about all your concerns, but take care to make sure you know the root causes of your concerns. Flesh those out, pun intended. If it's the partner choice, that's fixable while still allowing more group play. If it's the thought of being with somebody other than Drake that takes the wind out of your sails, does that entirely rule out threesomes?
Just things to think on.
Stay SINful
Mr. AP
Mr. AP - I am really learning a lot reading these comments. They have certainly given me a lot to think about! I wish I was fortunate enough to have the kind of relationship some bloggers have with their spouses. As it stands, I pour most of my sexual energy into my extra-marital relationship and I feel a need to always be honest about my feelings. As I mentioned to MNN, I think this was simply a bad fit couple-wise and we will continue looking.
DeletePiggy-backing on the other comments - as someone who has loved seeing my wife have sex with other guys, it is just something that some men get off on. But if you aren't into it, don't do it. Of course, all women should be encouraged to participate in MFF's whenever the opportunity arises. Just kidding. A little.
ReplyDeleteJFB - Teehee. :-) Drake and I have been searching for a woman for an MFF for two years. They have either flaked at the last minute when we were going to all meet (for coffee!) or the chemistry wasn't there. It is SO much easier to find willing men for MMFs...why is that? ;-) haha
DeletePlease don't feel bad. I'm so impressed that you would try. Our fantasies are ridiculosities really. Built on childhood impressions from books, television, movies. That you would attempt to translate that into adult reality is so impressive to me. I haven't been following you long but there's no way I think this wouldn't bring you closer. Talk to him :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Lurve you girl. You touch my heart.
Emen - Thanks for reading. You're right, our fantasies are fueled by the media. I confess that I have, on occasion, imagined taking part in a full-out orgy a la something I've seen on a porn site. Then I realize how much work it would be to find people who all have at least a modicum of chemistry together. That alone would be quite a feat!
DeleteProper chemistry among all four of a couple swap is very important. Everyone needs to be comfortable with everyone else. When my wife and I used to swing, she would tell me that for her, as long as she knew the other woman was truly in love with her spouse and not "taking one for the team" or getting too emotionally connected to me, then she was fine with the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteAnd then there is the issue of a mutual attraction among everyone. All modesty aside, we were usually among the better looking swingers at an event or online and so we would get a lot of solicitations. At that point in our lives we were in our mid-thirties and although we both worked out a lot and looked good, we noticed that other couples in our age range usually had an attractive wife who had taken care of herself, but the husband had let himself get out of shape, soft and sloppy. Yet these men fully expected my wife to fuck them, as if she had no standards at all. It was frustrating since we had to turn down a lot of couples due to the husband being unattractive and my wife refused to "take one for the team" just so I could fuck some hot wife. Can't blame her really though.
Anyway, we eventually drifted out of swinging for that and some other reasons. But I still get major turned on remembering her getting fucked by some other guy. It's not that uncommon of a fantasy among men.
Thanks for your insight. We have certainly learned how important chemistry is. I actually doubt that we will jump into bed with another couple again without knowing them over a drink or coffee first.
DeleteHow long have you been seeing Drake? I waiting til we had been together a year before we decided to venture out together swinging. So far we have only had one weekend of that together but it did turn me on to see him with another woman. BUT if it would of happened earlier in our relationship i would not have been at that same point. I think I would of been jealous, that is why we waited.
ReplyDeleteDrake and I have been together for two years. We're quite comfortable with each other at this point. I'm really not the jealous type. I have told him numerous times how much I'd like to see him fuck another woman. And I mean it!
DeleteOh and that sounds like a VERY AWKWARD situation. Ours was so different, we went to a Camp and just met and then connected with people, no expectations. We have never done the dating thing.
ReplyDeleteYes. Awkward! Meeting a bunch of couples sounds pretty cool. We were invited to a swingers club awhile ago, but Drake doesn't seem to be interested in going...
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