I have to admit that sometimes the lying gets to me. Especially when my husband, Dave, is being sweet to me. I don't feel guilt, just a sense of remorse and regret that things can't be better between him and me.
I met with Drake for drinks on Monday and towards the end of the evening, Dave called. I answered because I get tired of ignoring his calls when I'm out with Drake. It might raise a red flag.
Dave babbled on, as he usually does, about different things. At the end of the call, he said, 'I love you."
I lost it for some reason.
Drake could tell that I was distracted and asked me what was wrong. I paused for a long moment. I told him that I'm tired of lying to Dave and I started to tear up. He grabbed my hands and asked me what I was trying to say. He wanted to know how my feelings would affect "us." I realized that he was wondering whether I was breaking up with him, seeing that I had been distracted the entire evening.
We went out to his SUV and I lay my head in his lap. He stroked my hair and rubbed my back, which was very soothing and calming.
"I can't end us," I said. "We have such a good thing going."
I have had more sex in the past 16 months than I've had in years.
Drake and I didn't have our usual Friday sex rendezvous yesterday. He had some business to attend to. We agreed to meet mid-afternoon for coffee. We sat and talked and suddenly he said to me, "I really need to be alone with you." He paid the bill and we left.
I confess when he said that, I felt this electric surge through my body. His take was that the minute he saw me, he got horny.
Being that we were in an area that is highly congested, we ended up parking in the far end of a parking lot. We got in the back of his SUV and I gave him a blowjob. He wanted to pleasure me, but I'm funny that way. I'm content pleasuring him and bringing him to orgasm. That really gets me off, even if I don't orgasm. I suppose when it comes to sex, I am truly a giver.
So how did you "lose" it exactly? I'm curious. Because whenever that happened between me and my lover it was like the world shifted on its axis. You know? Taking a call from a husband or wife when you're out with a lover can be exciting for some, but I guess for most normal adulterers hearing the words "I love you" spoken by one person on a cell when another person is in the same room as you is just too weird.
ReplyDeleteYou sound just like my gf except she isn't married. I am. We have ended up in the back of my mini van with her giving me a bj and very satisfied tasting my cum and sharing it with me with a kiss even though I want to pleasure her too. Glad to hear we're not alone, acting like two teenagers in the back of a car. Hope you two are very happy together. I know me and my gf (dating about 16 months as well) are very happy when we can be together. It's very exciting, isn't it? Have fun.
ReplyDelete@M I think I lose it when my husband calls because he and Drake know each other. It throws me off balance and makes me question what I'm doing for a moment. What I forgot to mention is that a few minutes after my husband called me, Drake's phone vibrated and it was my husband calling Drake. A very bizarre situation.
ReplyDelete@Roger Yes, you sound like us. Drake and I do have so much fun together without all the drama of being married!!
Luna,
ReplyDeleteI am a new reader and find your blog to be quite engaging. I cannot relate fully as my wife and I are swingers, but the lies aspect is close to my heart. It is hard keeping secrets and then trying to remember which lies you told to whom. Some times I want to say "fuck it" and let all the secrets out in the open and people will just have to deal with it. If only for the kids, family and work :(
Keep posting and I will keep reading.
Sincerely,
Mr. No Name
Hi Mr. No Name, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog. I can imagine the lies involved with swinging can be just as complicated as having an affair...
ReplyDelete